On January 2nd 1985, the moment I landed at Kennedy airport in New York, my life changed forever. Life for me in Japan was a struggle because I was never able to have confidence in myself even though I always knew some kind of force was guiding me. If I continued to live there, I probably would have never fully expressed my internal power.

The very same day I arrived in New York, I was able to find a job as a waitress. I started to work in a restaurant and when I wasn't, I studied dance, singing and acting. I worked hard and studied hard, and began to audition for parts in musical theatre. Soon after I started to book jobs. At that time, it was pretty unusual to see a Japanese girl in the business. Since then, I have been able to lead a fairly successful career as an actress in many different fields.

I met my partner Kevin and married him in 1987. Kevin and his brother Stephen became a big supporter for me. I was so immersed in my career, but I had one dream. I wanted to have children and create a happy family life. I had a hard time growing up because my family never accepted me for who I was. So I always wanted to have a strong connection with my own children. In 1993, our daughter Kalina was born. After she was born I decided to stay with her for a year without working. Breast feeding Kalina for 13 months was such a fulfilling experience that I would never forget.

My second turning point came in 1995. My brother-in law Stephen passed away from AIDS.  Stephen was so close to me like no one else ever was. He was always by my side when I needed help. He always encouraged me and loved me unconditionally. After a devastating despair my soul search began. Why are we put on this earth? What happens after we die? My heart was filled with questions. I searched for answers by reading many different books. The knowledge I gained from these books became the foundation of my belief system today.

Something else happened that changed my life completely. The day was September 11th 2001. It was a gorgeous autumn sunny day. An airplane had burst into the World Trade Center, which was our regular weekend cycling location. We were in the middle of a PTA conference in Kalina’s school. When the 2nd plane crashed into the other tower, it became apparent that it was an act of terrorism. I was petrified with shock and fear.

So many lives were lost that day… At the fire station by our apartment, 15 fire fighters were missing. For a while, the street in front of the fire station was covered with the flowers and the candles, you couldn’t even see the ground. Many pictures drawn by children covered the windows of the station. I can imagine the little hand moving insecurely holding the crayons. It reads, “Daddy, please come home soon.”

There are signs of missing family members posted everywhere. I see a face of a Japanese person too. During this time, there were many temporary structures with thousands of missing person signs posted all over the city. When I think of those moments, I get choked up and I can’t see anything because I eyes are filled with tears.

For a while, life in NYC was chaotic. The city became like a ghost town for a few days. Then people with supplies started to rush downtown, everybody was running downtown to send off the soldiers on their tanks heading to ground zero. Ground zero kept on smoldering for at least a month. On some days depending on the direction of the wind, we can smell a strange odor in the air. Tens of thousands of computers, and tens of thousands of bodies, all burnt…

I wonder if a spirit looses their body and home so suddenly … they must get confused. The major convention center was prepared to store the bodies that were discovered, but not many bodies were ever found. A lot of the bodies disintegrated in the explosion or blown into non descriptive pieces, so after the desperate search, a lot of the families still never found the remains of their loved ones. One ordinary morning, many people never returned home after kissing their family good-bye and saying,” See you later, love ya”

Then the third turning point began. The feeling I always had for a long time… Why am I here? So many people died around me but something is making me alive. Why? How can I be of service to the world right now? I even felt angry with myself for not being able to do anything worthwhile.

Many people visited from Japan to do volunteer work. People were doing charity concerts in Japanese kindergartens. A woman donated a thousand cranes of Origami to schools near ground zero and to the fire stations. I also met Mr. S who lost his only son on 9-11. His son worked for Cantor-Fitzgerald located on the top floor of WTC – He decided to go to Afghanistan later that fall. He was deeply affected by the sight of the local children and is building a memorial park and a facility to help the children in Kabul currently. I was also privileged to attend the children’s conference at the UN as an interpreter. I saw children no older than 10 years old from all over the world debating with their eyes wide open and shiny. How could we get rid of the war in the world? How could people get along with each other? All of these experiences started to shine like a bright star on a clear midnight sky – As if to guide the lost travelers like the bright star Orion.

For a while it felt like time had come to a complete stop. I didn’t get calls for work. I lived in confusion.  Nobody knew what would happen next. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what. What can I do? I started to go to a Yoga studio that opened up in my neighborhood. I was there everyday. I learned to connect the Yoga poses with my breath and I felt great after the class. I was surprised that I almost felt like meditating because I never thought I could meditate. I wanted to know more about Yoga. After a year I went through a teacher’s certification program so that I can deepen my knowledge in Yoga. I went all over the city to visit every Yoga studio.

Then I met Sri Dharma Mittra, my guru. Because of his guidance, I finally felt able to understand myself from a deeper level. And now I continue my education in Yoga and searching for my mission. I was guided by some mysterious force when I jumped into this field, and now I’m re-thinking about what I can do. There are colleague of mine who goes to Africa or South America to teach children. Since 9-11, I always thought that I wanted to go to Afghanistan to teach the children there. I would like to make this into a reality.

I also started to work with Japanese children. I left Japan many years ago but it’s still the homeland that I love. The children there seem to have so many problems. Text messaging each other even though they are sitting near one another. They can’t even look at each other and talk? They don’t go outside and play so their bones and their minds are weak. This is an extreme problem of an extremely civilized society. A problem like this is not possible for children in developing countries. Children in these countries have no clothes or food. They grow up maintaining close communication with their peers and adults. They have to worry about how to get today’s food, so they don’t have time to get depressed. For them, just living itself is a challenge. Children are in need of help everywhere, in their own unique way.

My current goal is to teach Japanese children Yoga. To implement a rich ethical foundation of Yoga philosophy and to encourage them to communicate so they can learn to work with each other. Also to help and train people who want to teach a program like this to create a community that works with the school system. What I can do by myself might be limited, but I believe when you learn to work with people, your potential is unlimited.